The Season of Good-Chill – By Gregory Dance

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As winter again begins its biting habits and temperatures drop to near zero we welcome the arrival of the time of year when white is a favoured colour to signify the coldness of the season.

For us white represents frost and snow flakes, and so has been the colour of snowmen / women built by children. It is the colour of migrating Swan who fly in during Autumn.

This lunch time I witnessed this when I went into a shop in my  home town and I saw white appearing where natural colours normally are seen for the rest of the year! Yes you guessed right, its the colour of the skin's of the shivering shop staff and some of their customers as they attempt to be cheery doing commerce in freezing cold shops.

The heating is on but the doors are wide open!

I ponder this strange anomaly with questions to the shop owners like 'if you detest closed doors so much how is that experienced by the rest of the household when you go to the loo for No 2?
And do burglars queue up to visit your homes so all that dangerous broken glass and jemmying no longer makes theft such a dangerous hobby?

My instinct tells me those questionns are not accurately based and that they don't follow those absurd habits when at home themselves but strangely and as sure as British stupidity and Brexit are bed-fellows, they expect their staff to struggle with hypothermia and customers to shorten their visits by not browsing their shops for more things to buy!

And this tradition which began with a little girl selling matches in Dickensian stories will go on as long as Britons endure shivering with shopping just because of the paranoia of shop owners who think we prefer to buy in frozen shops with doors wide open that are staffed by quivering mannekins.

Its time to show them that customers are the kings by warning them that white/blue skinned staff are indicators of shops for us to boycott, not frequent!

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