Hacks HQ – Editors Log
Stardate: 8eatC0r8yn
We’ve all been dancing at Hacks HQ this week, we’re all dancing to Theresa May’s tune and it’s a really catchy one.
Tory conference and the attendance is low
Theresa May has nowhere else to go
Where they play the wrong music
Because Abba might be raging
And Sajid Javid wants to be King
Anybody could be that hombre
You just have to win the birth lottery
With a bit of wealth and luck
The Tories don’t give a fuck
They’re in the mood to kill
And when you get a chance
You are the Universal Credit Queen
Old and mean
Only sixty-two but a waspi
Increasing Homeless Queen
Feel the beat from Jeremy Corbyn, oh yeah
You can’t dance
But you can make cuts
Destroying everyone else’s life
Oooh, see that girl
She’s really mean
She is the dancing 120,000 Austerity Deaths Queen.
Okay, the words aren’t exactly the message we are trying to brainwash our readers with, but we’ve brainwashed them enough that they don’t care about the words, they are all just so tickled pink that our Prime Minister danced her way onto the stage at the Conservative Conference.
Actually its been a good week to get some bad news out and no one is paying attention because they are all still enraptured with our dancing PM so we dropped a piece about working families being £200 worse off on Universal Credit and whilst a few lefties stamped their feet about it, it went mostly the way of the dodo, phew. This is a good week, we just have to keep the PM dancing.
Press Baron will have her performing like a dancing bear wherever she goes now. In fact, her dancing has helped us cover up 100,000 people marching for independence in Edinburgh. Who needs to report that when we have a dancing PM.
We can’t stop dancing in the office, long may The Theresa May Conga continue.
Jeremy Corbyn doesn’t get up on stage dancing, well it’s just as well we would have a field day!
I can just imagine it now “Corbyn Does the Mamushka Dance Which Confirms he is a Russian Spy, Whilst Being Antisemitic and Racist at the Same Time!”
Seems like a good day to get a story out telling people to look again at the Conservatives, their PM dances so they are nice really, just like the people. That should convince the Labour voters to vote Tory…
