Hacks HQ – Dancing PM – Sunday Satire


Hacks HQ – Editors Log

Stardate: 8eatC0r8yn

We’ve all been dancing at Hacks HQ this week, we’re all dancing to Theresa May’s tune and it’s a really catchy one.

Tory conference and the attendance is low

Theresa May has nowhere else to go

Where they play the wrong music

Because Abba might be raging

And Sajid Javid wants to be King

Anybody could be that hombre

You just have to win the birth lottery

With a bit of wealth and luck

The Tories don’t give a fuck

They’re in the mood to kill

And when you get a chance

You are the Universal Credit Queen

Old and mean

Only sixty-two but a waspi

Increasing Homeless Queen

Feel the beat from Jeremy Corbyn, oh yeah

You can’t dance

But you can make cuts

Destroying everyone else’s life

Oooh, see that girl

She’s really mean

She is the dancing 120,000 Austerity Deaths Queen.

Okay, the words aren’t exactly the message we are trying to brainwash our readers with, but we’ve brainwashed them enough that they don’t care about the words, they are all just so tickled pink that our Prime Minister danced her way onto the stage at the Conservative Conference.

Actually its been a good week to get some bad news out and no one is paying attention because they are all still enraptured with our dancing PM so we dropped a piece about working families being £200 worse off on Universal Credit and whilst a few lefties stamped their feet about it, it went mostly the way of the dodo, phew. This is a good week, we just have to keep the PM dancing.

Press Baron will have her performing like a dancing bear wherever she goes now. In fact, her dancing has helped us cover up 100,000 people marching for independence in Edinburgh. Who needs to report that when we have a dancing PM.

We can’t stop dancing in the office, long may The Theresa May Conga continue.


Jeremy Corbyn doesn’t get up on stage dancing, well it’s just as well we would have a field day!

I can just imagine it now “Corbyn Does the Mamushka Dance Which Confirms he is a Russian Spy, Whilst Being Antisemitic and Racist at the Same Time!”

Seems like a good day to get a story out telling people to look again at the Conservatives, their PM dances so they are nice really, just like the people. That should convince the Labour voters to vote Tory…



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